How Not to Look Too Ancient

There are many articles published at this time of year giving hints on how to look younger. Perverse as I am, here is my list on how not to look too doddery.

DON’T – Sit with hands clasped on your lap.
– Sit with hands clasped,twiddling your thumbs
– Twiddle your thumbs ever.
DON’T – Sit with knees apart (Lassies)
– Sit with knees together (Lads)
– Groan when getting up from a low seat
– Sit on a low seat
DON’T- Say “Just a small helping for me”
– Say it then accept second helping larger than first
DON’T- Say,”Just a splash” when offered a top-up of wine
– Say it then forget to shout “When”
DON’T- Tell people when asked how you are
– Omit to return the question
– Interrupt when being given the answer
DON’T- Criticise Young people’s TV programmes
– Groan at sound of modern songs
– Gasp in horror at new version of an old song
– Sing the old version that you know over the new one
DON’t -Wear red lipstick ever (Lassies)
– Refuse a great hair-cut because you think it’s a waste of money (Lads)
I didn’t say old-age was easy. I’m still practising!

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